The shadow of the March

A departure of the elderly
Thirteen first month 2009, Grandpa is gone, that kind of face forever frozen in a moment. Ears no longer hear those warm and kind words, although the continuous boil for three day and night, still not back to the grandfather goes for familiar faces.
straight from the wards to see to send elderly people to the cremation, I could not believe it all seems to have a thing N days ago. Those memories in the dead of night time, always keep in mind emerges, holding a color portrait photograph of the time, but I could bear the loss of his father's love, and now, even to me in every possible way to accommodate and the love the elderly, but also left me. No longer restrain my grief, buried in the vast and quiet room, I made no secret of their feelings and vent the grief.
after finishing the funeral of the elderly, I also fell, a sharp needle through the skin, the skin has no consciousness. Tears co cold liquid, mixed together, not the temperature. Sometimes, I feel people are really such as dust, came quietly; take the time, but also quiet, nothing can take away.
do not know because of their sentimental character as then, old people go these days, never laughed, and no effort to think about other things, all day from home and the hospital and kept on infusion, medication, change doctors.
face color is still not improved, the mirror's face as white as paper, have disappeared long ago. Have been better to wait for the body, you leave travel, even if it is returned to Lhasa in the city aimlessly, or runaway, so for now I am also a comfort.

B passing through the memory
time seems as fleeting and I race, has been back more than two months, and these days, in addition to get a driver's license, but inside there are too many regrets: not good with his son and take good care of their families, but also There are some things I did not expect changes too fast, and after the causes of things, have had a chance to reflect on, in between sudden change.
no sleep last night, when it opened five years ago, the yellowing diaries, those who wake up their words and the fight against me deeply. Although the first time in years, but I clearly perceived that he has no much change, still nature, is still persistent, still lying on the dream, not self-provision. Close the laptop, turn off the lights, I want to take reasonable grounds to mind, but thoughts are a mess, I do not know where to find the clue, I do not know the role of drugs or too tired, then they do not know how to enter the spaced a dream, to be woke up this morning, I felt the first pain, people are still halo.

C looking for export
I think I really want to make some changes, no matter what thoughts or actions. I should have thrown away as soon as it does not give me any power of the laptop, then do not do a bit unnecessary and unrealistic fantasy. In just the past few days, the order had a good mind and a firm idea of ​​starting a new departure, even in front of trials and hardships; even if it is a person, in the distance my grandfather and father warned him look, I will once again pick up up my confidence and strong, not submissive.
out the window the night, quiet water, no moon, not angry, but his grandfather and father, bless my soul in heaven, I believe them, and certainly looking at me smiling. . .